March 2012
if Fred & George had the map for years, how did they not notice that there was a man named Peter sleeping in Ron’s bed every night.
or did they just not want to ask or
And we’ll dedicate it to Rick Santorum.
Lots of things might happen. That’s the thing about writers. They’re unpredictable. They might bring you eggs in bed for breakfast, or they might all but ignore you for days. They might bring you eggs in bed at three in the morning. Or they might wake you up for sex at three in the morning. Or make love at four in the afternoon. They might not sleep at all. Or they might sleep right through the alarm and forget to get you up for work. Or call you home from work to kill a spider. Or refuse to speak to you after finding out you’ve never seen To Kill A Mockingbird. Or spend the last of the rent money on five kinds of soap. Or sell your textbooks for cash halfway through the semester. Or leave you love notes in your pockets. Or wash you pants with Post-It notes in the pockets so your laundry comes out covered in bits of wet paper. They might cry if the Post-It notes are unread all over your pants. It’s an unpredictable life.
But what happens if a writer falls in love with you?
This is a little more predictable. You will find your hemp necklace with the glass mushroom pendant around the neck of someone at a bus stop in a short story. Your favorite shoes will mysteriously disappear, and show up in a poem. The watch you always wear, the watch you own but never wear, the fact that you’ve never worn a watch: they suddenly belong to characters you’ve never known. And yet they’re you. They’re not you; they’re someone else entirely, but they toss their hair like you. They use the same colloquialisms as you. They scratch their nose when they lie like you. Sometimes they will be narrators; sometimes protagonists, sometimes villains. Sometimes they will be nobodies, an unimportant, static prop. This might amuse you at first. Or confuse you. You might be bewildered when books turn into mirrors. You might try to see yourself how your beloved writer sees you when you read a poem about someone who has your middle name or prose about someone who has never seen To Kill A Mockingbird. These poems and novels and short stories, they will scatter into the wind. You will wonder if you’re wandering through the pages of some story you’ve never even read. There’s no way to know. And no way to erase it. Even if you leave, a part of you will always be left behind.
If a writer falls in love with you, you can never die.
by mols
- teacher: you will be sorted into grou--
- me: can i work alone
- Every time.
President Santorum.
YES
ALL OF MY FAVOURITE THINGS TOGETHER
This morning, I put out a call for Sex Ed horror stories from former and current teens, after reading about Utah’s decision to adopt an abstinence-only policy when it comes to teaching about sexual health. Of course, that’s ridiculous - but not as crazy as some of these testimonials. Read on, it’s fascinating.
On Periods & Other Ovarian Mysteries
“Our sex ed in biology class was very good, it was our teacher of religious education who told us bullshit: he once said that men can’t have sex with women during their period, because the the period blood forms crystals which hurt the penis. One of the girls in our class asked him if that’s what his wife told him.” - lostwiginity
I’ve been forced to explain homosexuality to my kids (aged 3 and 4) because their uncle is gay. This incredibly difficult and traumatic experience went as follows:
Child: Why does Uncle Bob go everywhere with Pete?
Me: Because they’re in love, just like Mummy and Daddy are.
Child: Oh. Can I have a biscuit?
We’re all scarred for life. Scarred, I tell you.
” —KateP, Internet commenter (via cocklordsimone)February 2012
Why am I taking a creative writing class?
Biting the bullet and doing some swimwear modelling stuff for a photographer one of my friends has worked with.
Body confidence ahoy?
How do I model? Eep?


